False stories of isolation
“Our body and mind are sustained by the cosmos. The clouds in the sky nourish us; the light of the sun nourishes us. The cosmos offers us vitality and love in every moment. Despite this fact, some people feel isolated and alienated from the world.”
A friend in my morning meditation group shared this writing from meditation teacher Thicht Nhat Hanh. It struck me as I’ve been looking at my own feelings of alienation both due to a recent layoff and from childhood when I was pissed at my parents and the world.
In my life it has been easy to feel alone, isolated. On one level we are just like a tree, an element in the world. The world is no more out to get us than the tree. Some trees aren’t born in conditions where it is easy to get certain levels of nutrients. I didn’t have conditions with parents who could resolve conflict and therefore create a safe container for me and my brother. For others that’s structural racism putting them at risk on the street.
We all have our pros and cons and have to take that curriculum and learn from it and ideally change the conditions over time. I used to think my parents really didn’t love me, but I’ve been recently realizing that while my parents struggled, I actually was the one who turned away. They were doing the best they could, it just kinda sucked when conflict arose. Then I made it worse, doing the best I could and shut them out.
The passage from Thicht Naht Hanh ends: “The suffering is there, but something else is also there: the miracle of life.” I’m excited for this miracle as I heal old wounds.
I’m curious how folks who have a really healthy mature relationship with trust suss things out. This wound is healing with my parents but I struggle sometimes with other relationships, especially those with power or authority. Feel free to share a story if you have one.